Thoughts on self-compassion

Okay, it’s been a week since I last posted on the Pigasus Project. But, I’m not going to berate myself for this.  Posting here is intended to be a joy, a learning, an understanding through writing down and sharing thoughts and ideas. Getting angry at myself for not doing this is the antithesis of the intention.

Over the past week or so, at the advice of a very amazing counsellor, I am focussing on self-compassion. Whenever she asked me about giving myself compassion, I would draw a blank. Finally, I came up with one, I would not get angry at myself for losing or breaking something.  Now, that’s a small step towards not deprecating me for making a mistake. When I came up with this one and I really got it, I was stunned.  I, like most of us, is far more compassionate to everyone then self. On the back of a worksheet about self-compassion vs self-esteem, I wrote these words.  

Sadness is being experienced; I am not sadness.

Depression is being experienced; I am not depression.

Self-compassion invites the feelings to be experienced and run their course while holding space for a knowing that what we feel is not who we are.  Feelings are tools for understanding the human experience. Self-compassion encourages self-awareness and a call to wake up to our true nature.

There, as I ponder this, I try to integrate, beyond knowing that a turning inward with compassion and love helps to create a sense of equanimity that permeates the external world of our day-to-day existence. Being compassionate to one’s self includes self-forgiveness, nurturing the body with healthy food and exercise, thinking kind thoughts while reflecting on the infinite nature of who we really are. 

Perhaps more than anything else it is cultivating an equanimity suffuses our entire being. This holding of balance that can be dipped into when experiences are difficult and when they are exciting. Like I’ve said here, ‘everything comes and goes’. We are indeed verbs. We are always changing. It is this change that I need to make peace with. 

Now I'm going to have a bubble bath.