Surrender To The Mystery

As Kirtana sings “I surrender to the mystery... I really don’t know anything.” Isn’t this a most curious challenge of human nature, the act of surrender, giving up, letting go? Somehow our ego considers the nature of surrender a weakness. Is this why we find it so difficult? How come we cling to our own suffering, to the insanity of our conditioned beliefs? We grasp on to our own righteousness as if it would save us from what we believe is wrong with the rest of the world and everyone else, except us. 

And, yet, if we really investigate the simple act of surrender, it is not easy. Not easy because one component of surrender is forgiveness, to “others” yes, mostly to ourselves. Our ego sternly warns and reminds us that asking for forgiveness is a sign of weakness. 

If you have ever taken the incredible act of faith and opened to the grace of letting go of a relationship, a loved one, a job, a home, a child, a belief... remember that feeling of spaciousness, perhaps tinged with some fear yes, but in letting go space is opened up for something new and true. 

Don’t believe what I write here, after all they are just words, try it and see. Let go or surrender something cherished and see what happens. Sometimes letting go simply means letting someone else be who they are without the neediness or expectations of “me”. Other times it may mean dropping “your story” and the belief that that is what defines you.  

Surrendering to the mystery for me means letting go of the control i have needed to have in moving through each moment of each day. In letting go of the mind’s need to control, the need to know everything, i am learning to trust that i really don’t know. In that not knowing, comes the freedom to be who i truly am.   

Decomposing

Big accolades and deep bows for the City of Victoria’s parks maintenance facility near Beacon Hill Park off Cook Street.  Late summer & early fall I watched a thing of beauty. The workers removed all the sod from the cricket field and placed it on an adjoining field. Through the fall they added leaves and with “urmming chines” (as my middle girl Ssarah used to call diggers) turned over the big piles of sod and leaves. The piles steamed as they worked their magic. Now they are using that well composted, incredibly, rich black gold to enrich and nourish our beautiful public gardens. Thank you!!

One-With-All

What I would Say To My Children If They Ever Asked; 

“How Should I Live My Life?”

Examine your life as if it were a precious, intricate and mysterious thing that you have just found, because it is.

Ask the big questions of yourself. Who am I? What is my purpose?

Seek out great teachers in all traditions. Listen and read them but don’t believe them. Experience the “truths” for yourself.

Make mistakes and know that others do too. 

Learn that “feeling bad” does not mean you are bad.

Step off the map prepared by others for your life. 

Risk not being liked to be who you truly are.

Risk not having stuff, power and prestige to live your purpose, your calling.

Be accountable for what you choose to do.

Show up for your life each moment because this exact moment only happens once.

Forgive and forget; yourself and others.

Be okay with not knowing; an open mind is always curious, a “know it all” is a closed mind.

Don’t believe your thoughts if they are unkind or critical of you or others.

Cultivate a sense of wonder.

Above all, know that you are not alone. Look around you and look within. 

Moving Energy

Navigating through the challenges of this work-a-day world, the conditionings of childhood and society, to stay healthy in body, mind and soul is a passion in this life and body. Exploring the restorative, rejuvenative, relaxing, energizing and healing of yoga asanas continues to fill with me wonder and inspire with courage and passion as i both practice and teach.

In December, i invited the healing art of Qi Gong, as taught by Ken Cohen, back into my life. For a beginner's exploration i highly recommend this video download from http://www.soundstrue.com  i have been so inspired by Ken's sincerity and gentleness i am awaiting a home study course he offers called "The Essential Qigong Training Course."

For a taste of practices of a variety of healers and teachers, i would encourage you to enjoy the free podcasts offered by Sounds True: Insights At The Edge. All podcasts can be downloaded via iTunes.

A most inspiring teacher is Donna Eden, an energy medicine expert. Her bubbly enthusiasm and story of her own healing on a Sounds True podcast prompted me to order her Energy Medicine Kit. It arrived yesterday and practicing with her DVD offering, i feel a shift towards continued wellness on all levels of being. (in one day)

As Mary Oliver asks at the end of her poem, "The Summer Day",
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

In joy.

A Sutra, Suessifed

How often do we just stop 

Not chase the meanderings of thought

Or measure our stories by loss and by gain, by gosh and by golly.

We repeat the symptoms until we "think"we're the same

To stop and just be

Not define you or me

To open the heart and begin to see

To welcome "ah ha" with out judgement or shame 

To be with what is with no craving for fortune or fame

To stop and let go, what is is what is.

Love the mind with heart and its vagaries of will

Until the movement of mind becomes settled and still

Thoughts will rise, that's the nature of mind

Yet don't expect they will or will not

Guess what, it's not real, thought is just thought

The nature of form is change, be it thought, feelings or things... never the same

In formless, hide and seek is the absolute game

So nowhere to go; nothing to do

Begin within, embrace true you

Open to  what is with the compassion of heart

The catch in the throat, the tear in the eye, the feeling of expansion 

The "knowing" not naming,  I am I

These words are just words

Believe or deny

The words, a finger pointing

Let it poke you in the I. 

Ode To A Headband

A black headband

A faithful friend

Keeps my ears dry and warm  

Through wet and wind

Under helmet or hat

Your true nature flexible.

This authentic quality endears

And yet i personalize

And even anthropomorphize

Your service of these many years

Straight from my heart

Thanks from my ears.

Heart Song

Ocean lazily reaches up the beach.

Waves ripple up the tide line along 

smooth, round pebbles

caressed again and again.  Sometimes not so gentle.

But now, like fingers stroking a lover, 

murmurs of delight

as wavelets play trilling sounds on the stones.  

Breathing in and out, waves rise and fall. 

Beams of sunshine peak through fingers of clouds, 

stretched out across the vast blueness as if cupping this blue-green world in an ethereal palm. 

Each wavelet a mosaic of sky, ocean and earth. 

No stones. No shore. No waves.  

No ocean. No clouds. No sky. 

Only this shining, vibrant presence,

 the song of the heart.

Ocean lazily reaches up the beach.

Now & Then

Let go now. 

There's no going back again

Even though we spiral around and around

There's no going back to then.