Ruminating On Rumi

As you start to walk out on the way, the way appears.

~ M. Rumi

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Light & A Lifesaver

During these recent turbulent times of my own mind, I could not see the light.  I certainly could not see the gift of this suffering as neither was I present to the moment nor would I allow myself to feel the grace of presence. 

It is a practice to regularly draw an Angel Card or cards, cards with a single positive word or affirmation of a universal truth. It is always interesting that the card either directs my attention or reminds me of something that it is right before my eyes. In a simple, single word it is an invitation to this moment. Yesterday, after weeks of bi-polar, unpredictable omnipotent, on-top-of-the-world, up-up-up and then the occasionally very hard crash and the self-deprecating and shame that comes with the shadow side, I drew three cards, Joy, Grace & Gratitude.

Then I experienced such kindnesses that the word Gratitude does not come close to the heart opening feeling of being loved, cared for, valued and understood. The loyalty of my two dear friends Trish and Sherry was like two dolphins supporting me to shore after struggling to stay afloat, afraid and sure of death in a dark and stormy sea. Sometimes I believed that giving up would be the best for all. These two beacons of hope, simply and gently were with me in my tears and anguish. I beat myself up with the ego-mind that tried to convince me of my obvious failures in all relationships; not only as a parent and a friend but as a human being. I am so grateful, on the shore of their love I find the strength to love me and feel Gratitude for the gift of this life.

Even in the darkest hours, there was always a glimpse of Grace. As I watched myself gasping and struggling for understanding, deep inside Grace held firm, opening her beautiful, butterfly wings patiently waiting for me to notice that I am never alone.

Joy!!  To open the gift of the last deep dive into the dark and depressing abyss, I found Joy.  In the darkest hours of the night, tormented by skeletons and things that go bump in the night, a rational thought came.  There is a lesson to be learned here.  I just need to find it. Where else, in my e-mail! It was an interview with Shifra from a series of interviews on Quantum Healing.  I copy and paste here, from the e-mail, the synopsis of the offering. The call with Shelly Lefkoe, co-founder of the Lefkoe Method, an extremely powerful technique for eliminating long-standing limiting beliefs, was breathtaking in its depth and simplicity. Shelly, who began the call with the statement that her work is practical rather than spiritual, proceeded to show us in short order that erasing pervasive limiting beliefs is nothing less than a direct gateway to spirituality, consciousness and freedom.

And, Joy of Joys, it is.  Really simple. Really clear. It is the piece (peace) I have been missing all these years. I knew that to truly begin the deep, down process of healing childhood wounds, core beliefs would need to be examined and released. If you are interested in hearing the interview, I don’t know how long it will be there and free, here is the hyperlink 
And here is a link for a fantastic free Belief Eliminating Program from Morty Lefkoe at  (you may have to copy and paste into your browser)

I tend to complicate things. Here, I was absolutely astounded and more then pleasantly pleased that this was so simple, obvious (once it was pointed out) and that it can be applied to any of our nasty beliefs that prevent us from being who we truly are.  

Today’s Angel Card.  Peace.  Exactly.  This.  Here. Now.  

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Mary Was An Also

Mary Was An Also

R.B. was the man.
Who knows love’s courting days?
Or if Mary’s bliss was R.B.’s? 
Or what of the family ways? 

We know the year of birth’s first gasp.
And the year breath slipped away.
But the dash in between tells us nothing of their days.

Someone knew. Did that someone care? 
For when they buried Mary also
Did they think her life mattered less than 
R.B. who was the man?

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Some Words & A Duck

A shifting of seasons.  A not so subtle shifting of temperature.  September began with some days, the sun lower in the horizon, golden and embracing, sensuous hot days becoming semi-sultry evenings and nights. How I savour this change! 

Both a melancholy and strangely at the same time, perhaps from the conditioning of school days and a new school year, a time of fresh beginnings. Odd, it being fall and harvest time. In this shift of seasons there is also a shift of senses. 

Lately, I am keenly aware of the ever present pulse of the universe, the ever present hum of birth and death and life in between. It throbs and thrums in my blood, in my veins and when I let it permeate my brain I can think to understand in words or concepts how trying to “know” could truly drive one insane. This knowing is not wordable. It’s not catchable. Neither can it be quantified or qualified. 

Learning to relax in the palm of this universe into the comfort of not knowing is a life’s journey.