Okay. I'm back. Struggling with depression. And suffering. Hey that's my story and I'm NOT sticking to it.
I need a routine. It's been difficult to do when it's tough to roll out of bed in the morning. My mind tells me that I should be able to think myself out of this. My psych tells me it's about chemistry. Still there is this lingering guilt that I am doing something wrong. That I should be able to get a handle on it. I can, at times, put a shiny, smiley face on but for this while there is this underlying sadness and hopelessness.
I have a strong feeling that I need to let go of this need to control. After all everything to this point, good and bad, if one were to put a value judgement, has turned out okay. I "know" this too will pass and everything comes and everything goes. The little depressed poor me has difficulty rising above. Sometimes it's a sense of loneliness; sometimes it's waves of grief that wash over me.
Everything is just as it is. The fog rolls in, the fog rolls out. This mental thang, depression, hidden in the recesses of the psyche, often ignored by society is the number one illness of our time. Ever prevalent, often denied, hidden by fear of rejection yet so debilitating.
In this instant world with quick fixes, impersonal communication, pop fads that come and go with the blink of an idea, we forget about one another. Families are scattered, friends busy. We all need to feel that we belong, that we are not simply individuals bobbing around in an impersonal world motivated by the almighty dollar. We need to push ourselves away from computers, from Facebook, from texting and start connecting face to face.
Let's reignite the value of making new friends, greeting neighbors and smiling at those we don't know. It can be a lonely world when you feel alone. We're all in this together.
