As it seems from the relative truth of time, all life leads up to this moment. Yet the absolute truth is there is only this moment, this now. When we did what we did in what we call the past as we were living it, it was the now and the future never comes because it will always be experienced in the now. (Thanks Eckhart!)
If I am present in the moment, then through this presence, I can choose to understand my conditioning and to witness my reactivity to the content and the circumstances of this play we call life. When in my mind, I believe something should be other then it is, I suffer. If I can be with the suffering, I have the opportunity to plant seeds of understanding. Even if I let myself be a victim to the suffering, still later there is the opportunity for the fruition of the experience. Suffering can be a fertile field for compassion, understanding, love, oneness, empathy, care... a change of heart. There really are no sides to suffering. When I experience this from true self, I can see that when one suffers, all suffer.