And It Has Been So Long

And it has been so long alone
Since I have known the love of one
Our arms and bodies deep entwined
Lost thought and wanderings of the mind
This thought brings flutters to my chest
But when I put my mind at rest

The longing soul so deep so near
Leans in and whispers in my ear
That nothing's lost yet still remains
This desire ignites, sparks and flames
That love loved is loves only matter
And even if love leaves heart shattered
Each shard a shining diamond bright
Still lights up the soul's darkest night

In the dreariest of hours 
The yearning for True Love devours 
The ego's victim pity cry
Full moon; light night sky

A question; a response

The question, what do I do when I meditate? The response, not an answer, because seriously I’m not the one qualified to tell you what to do or what not to do.  That, my dear reader, is your life’s exploration. There’s nothing to do when you meditate. Simply be.  Be curious about the thoughts that wander into your mind, the ones that cause you to jump on a thought train on a wild goose chase. Thoughts come and thoughts go.  In meditation, I observe them. Greet them. Then bid them  farewell. 

I sit still quietly in meditation and listen closely with inner ear, gaze softly inward with inner eye, compassionately with open heart watch feelings and emotions arrive and leave. Something will always arise. Without judgement, without categorizing, simplifying or complicating, clinging to or pushing away, I try to be with what is with effortless effort using the simple tool of breath. 

This from Thich Nhat Hanh on The Practice of Mindfulness. 

“The first exercise is very simple, but the power, the result, can be very great. The exercise is simply to identify the in-breath as in-breath and the out-breath as the out-breath. When you breathe in, you know that this is your in-breath. When you breathe out, you are mindful that this is your out-breath.”

I love Eckhart Tolle’s observation that as “when you realize you’re not present, you are.” This is very true for seated meditation. The moment you notice that your mind has been writing shopping lists and making plans, congratulate yourself. You noticed. Then bring awareness back to the present moment and breath. Over and over again, find solace, stillness and presence in breath.

Yes, meditation may, theoretically, be easier to describe then to practice. My friend, only and always remember it is just practice. Invite curiosity into your practice. I believe this helps dispel the notion of perfection. With curiosity you never know what will arise. In sitting meditation it is useful to make a daily date and set an amount of time you will sit. In walking, there are more happenings arising but again the suggestion is simple, just be with. Be mindful of all that fills the senses.  There comes a point when we may realize that this great adventure of living is a meditation. 

Why meditate is a different question, a different blog entry, see the Pigasus Project, November 12, 2012 for “To Meditate Or Not.” I believe, if you are seeking something more then the trappings of a noisy external life of wants and disappointments, the direction is inward. The path of meditation may be your guide on the way. As always, don’t believe me. If you’re curious try it. Sit and see. You may experience what you’ve always been seeking.  

In joy.

Tommi  

The Mysteries of the You-niverse

At one time I used to believe that I needed to know everything. Really, I still have to keep in check an inquiring mind that believes there is a right or wrong, a yes or no to everything. Now, I’m learning that perhaps the most important mature thing I can do is to let that notion go.  

Not only is it completely impossible to know everything but why would I want to know everything. To appreciate the unknowns, to feel comfort in not knowing, to be able to let go feels “right” to me now. Not only does it feel right, it feels far less of a burden on heart, soul and mind. And, it opens up the greater possibility for surprises. Yes, admittedly, when we attach a value judgement, there are good and bad surprises. When I step out of the need to place a value on an experience, I can simply be present with the experience and then respond or not in the most appropriate way.

This journey of waking up doesn’t guarantee that we won’t have challenges.  It seems challenges are more frequent. I notice I have plenty of opportunity to practice digging into my resources of being centered, tuning into the breath and coming into the present moment. Life is a pendulum, it swings from one extreme to another and in balance, it still hovers. There is never a time when we can say, “Ah, ha, I made it here I am.” The star feature of living in a you-niverse governed by relative time is that change happens, all ways. Yet, at the same time, and this is the paradox. In the absolute timeless sense, what never changes is that which animates all beings. Call it energy, call it soul, call it God; call it Love, call it what you like. It is impossible to word the wordless. 

What I call the you-niverse, you in the universal  sense of the word is on one hand a collection of beings in bodies learning to navigate all that happens. On the other hand, the you-niverse, us as one, is unfolding exactly as is needed. This cosmic one soul in the absolute evolves from the relative perspective of individuals making relationship to that which we perceive as separate.

All we need do, you can call it doing, is listen to that sacred inner voice that neither judges nor prescribes. This small voice of our conscience sometimes whispers and sometimes shouts.  But if we listen quietly and closely there is the possibility to realize we are always wholly holy whole.