Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Practicing With Not Good Enough
The devious belief "not good enough" is cloaked in disguise. It is loaded with the expectation if I recognize that I am not good enough, I will be encouraged to do better. This is a falsehood. Much of the time "not good enough" inspires only more of the same and the attitude of "why bother trying at all". My writing becomes paralyzed when I cling to the "NGE" belief. It comes in the form of an initial "great idea", a short period of intense creativity and then after a day or two dissolves into apathy of what was created. Exactly what is this about?! A part of me says, "be grateful for this gift you have, it's not yours to hoard, it's not even yours". Another part says, "NGE". So this self created ego loop is self fulfilling. Yet, by blogging I am trying to simply recognize the NGE and let it go. Today, I have written; tomorrow, I intend to do more of the same. I will try and be gentle with the NGE as I would in gently correcting a small child.