~~~ Well, I’ve been pondering. Not that I wasn't until this point. It’s just my mind has been filled with anxiety and fear. For this moment, I am truly experientially realizing that they're just words, just thoughts.
Occasionally I do forget, and as my children say, I get panic fingers. My mind races. I think I can fix what's happening or predict the future. The difference is that now I realize that things are tough. Yes. And also there is much to be grateful for.
To start with I can be grateful for the realization that all I can do is be right here, right now; with each breath I can anchor myself to the present moment.
I’ve just recently learned that when a family member is in recovery the whole family is in recovery. Perhaps this process of recovery begins this way.
The first step to recovery (of any kind whether it’s anxiety, self-depracation or substance use) or self-improvement and change is to recognize and own the problem.This may be start with the observation of a friend or counsellor or a personal revelation.
The second step is, possibly through counselling, to find out when and how the problem arose. Not to dote on the past but to give it true recognition, understanding and forgiveness.
The third step is to realize that while there was a good reason for the behaviour in the past, in the present it may no longer serve.
The fourth step on this path of self awareness is to put it into action, through self-compassion, thoughts, words and deeds.
That’s what I’m doing, a recovering anxiety. (Really that’s how it felt, that anxiety was my identity.)
So it goes. That’s all for now. I can’t guarantee I’ll write the next Pigasus post soon but I can say, I will return.