This Is It

... my writing for today. Blah, blah, blah.

Just Had To Share

Tuesday at Misha's Yoga she read "The Journey" by Mary Oliver.  Hearing it opened up my heart and touched the very nature of my soul.  To me, in the moment, it was as if a lantern was held up and a path out of this depression was now visible. So, I wish to share Mary's poem with complete and utter gratitude, awe and respect.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save. 

~ Mary Oliver ~

(Dream Work)

Another Ramble

Okay, here I am.  I made a promise that I would write every day in my blog.  Later then usual, past eight, but a promise is a promise.  This is, for me, a practice of not being too hard on myself about the way I arrange words and ideas in sentences.  Thought forms are constantly changing and so too are the ideas and words, I wish to convey.  I need to trust that what comes through this mind and this body through this keyboard on to this field in this blog is okay.  However, I find both in the written and spoken word when I make a statement or opinion, my thoughts on it are likely to change as it is coming out of my mouth or through my fingertips.  Thus is the changeable nature of the world of form. No thing stays the same. Every thing that is of the nature to be born  is also of the nature to decay and die. In fact, birth is a death sentence. However, what we do between our first gasp and our last is a wonderful, ever unfolding, ever changing dance. Somehow being okay with change and on speaking terms about death simply sweeten this activity of living. It is an art to learn how to savour each bite of life without clinging, without aversion, without comparing what it tasted like in the past or thinking it will be better in the future.

How wonderful and mysterious!

Practicing With Not Good Enough

The devious belief "not good enough" is cloaked in disguise.  It is loaded with the expectation if I recognize that I am not good enough, I will be encouraged to do better.  This is a falsehood.  Much of the time "not good enough" inspires only more of the same and the attitude of "why bother trying at all". My writing becomes paralyzed when I cling to the "NGE" belief.  It comes in the form of an initial "great idea", a short period of intense creativity and then after a day or two dissolves into apathy of what was created.  Exactly what is this about?! A part of me says, "be grateful for this gift you have, it's not yours to hoard, it's not even yours".  Another part says, "NGE". So this self created ego loop is self fulfilling. Yet, by blogging I am trying to simply recognize the NGE and let it go. Today, I have written; tomorrow, I intend to do more of the same. I will try and be gentle with the NGE as I would in gently correcting a small child.

I Sense That ~ Hold My Hand

... we are coming to a tipping point.  I feel that this transformative process that is running through this body is the same as the one that is moving humans as a species.  I sense that it is a do or die time. As more souls beckoned on to awakening, all become a cumulative part of a global shift  in consciousness.  It seems that this shift is picking up in momentum because of the wonderful world wide web.  Communication and consciousness are part and parcel of this collective rubbing of our eyes, yawning and stretching and waking to this present moment.  With twitter, face book and other social media we can in the virtual sense of the world join hands around the universe. I wonder if it would be possible to send an e-mail around the world linking our hands in virtual solidarity.  Embracing our uniqueness as human beings yet at the same time our oneness with all form.

Hold my hand. Let us join hands in peace, compassion and love for all sentient beings on this planet.

This & That

Where to from here... no where only now here.  So, I am back sitting with The Pig Blog not knowing where to start with words. Trying to connect with that still place where the sweetness of the words is fresh and true.  Before I had this notion that depression was doing me but now with a laugh I can say I am doing depression. Not even always. Just enough to recognize it creeping back into my mind attempting to cloud present moment.  Accepting it for what it is, gently acknowledging it seems to be the best medicine for going beyond it. I remind myself this is not permanent. No thing is.  No thought form. No life form.  As all it's a transformation; a transformation that I have asked for. Simply being okay with this process is the how.  Even when the feelings are dark, deep and fearful, I still can sense the stream of consciousness. When I wake up to that sense, I can dip my toe into it. Ahhh, there is the flow, go with it. "Know" that suffering is the path to that stream.

YouCube Actualized

YouCube on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3LebTINYhk

Check it out.