The Fascination Of Fear

Further inquiry into fear, deeply digging into and facing solidly and willing to continue deeper, questioning "what's this, is this the truth?" is easier then running from this unseen, unperceived, mind created enemy. When the light of inquiry is shone on fear, it becomes a crying baby with a wet diaper, a two year old with a temper tantrum, a teen with rage... and they're all the same. Paradoxically, turning and facing fear, embracing it, giving it space to be is exactly what dissolves it and we see that it is only a thin disguise. Fear is a disguise ego wears to prevent us from knowing that who we truly are is vast emptiness. The formless space from which all form arises.

This Morning

As I was doing the dishes, I looked up into the big mirror that hangs over the sink. Rarely, do I look at myself in a gentle, non-critical way. It was so sponataneous, a glance up, I caught my eye. There I saw looking back at me someone deeper then just that face that I've known all my life as me defined by my stories. Those eyes were brimming over with compassion and a love so deep that even the word love trivializes it. I realized at the moment that it has taken so many disguises to recognize the "I am".  As my heart broke open, I truly realized that this I am is vast beyond imagination and that all that is is embraced and held as sacred.

I can't write any more. Trying to put this in words is like trying to measure the love of a mother for her child. Infinite.

Dancing With Fear

Inspired by Gangaji's words, "...so usual and so tragic that to avoid a broken heart, people live in a state of broken heartedness..." this poem was worded.

Dance With Fear

Face and embrace the fear. 

Hold her tight.

Hold her near.

Dance with her.

In trembling body, I see

That fear is dancing in step with me.

She serves me well.

Survived and here to tell.

That I can let my heart break open.

Closed shut is living hell. 

Facing The Fear; Awakening To The Truth

Late into the night and again awake in the earlier morning hours, self inquiry beckoned further.  At one waking, I woke to a shaking which mind thought was an earthquake but was a soul shake.

Stop and face it. Hold this fear up to your eyes and look at it. Examine what it tastes like, smells like, feels like, experience it, penetrating to the very core of being; the fear has obscured that sweetness that is truth. There in my hand, on my tongue, "I am not enough!" What simplicity in that! The very heart of the truth is that I, alone, am not enough. Stop searching for something or someone to make me feel enough, I embrace "not enoughness".

All my life has brought me to this and likely will again. But neither will I turn away nor will I seek to find enoughness anywhere other then where it is here right now.

Expecting The Unexpected

The nature of the fall (& yes spring as well) is that I really have the opportunity to experience the changeability of weather not just on a daily level but note change that is tangibly very clearly happening in the moment. I look on my i-phone to see what the "experts" say will happen on the weather front.  I look outside. I see clouds and rain or not. I step outside. I sniff the air for dryness or moisture. I feel the temperature of the air on my skin, perhaps drops of rain touching my skin. I feel the movement of the air in all its dynamics of stillness or not-stillness. Then, just as I decide rain gear is not needed or perhaps is... it changes.  This very curiosity of what to wear or not is the same curiosity I can use to investigate the nature of my own inner landscape, inner weather. Some changes great, grand and fast moving, others more subtle. All beckoning a further query of "and then".

Envisioning The Vision Board

The blue poster board had a prominent position on my floor for a number of weeks. It was the space being made for an inspiration ~ a vision board. Inspired by the Buddha's words, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought," and the book "The Vision Board, The Secret To An Extraordinary Life", I began collecting ideas and images. The vision statement In Joy Now came from an Eckhart Tolle talk. Some of the photos are my own, the eye collage is a favourite created by Greg, other images were sourced from the wonderful world of google images. Looking at the board, images glued on, words added with markers and paints, I realize that the personal vision includes a cosmic vision. The little self wants to live in a world where we all live in accordance with the absolute truths. Love. Peace. Compassion. Silence. Freedom. Balance. The footsteps on this path are green in honour of the care and kindness needed to sustain our lives on this beautiful blue green planet. Gazing at The Vision Board fills my heart with joy and a sense of playful creation.

The Way Of The Worm

Today, I am grateful for the worms who make their home in my worm box. In a most simple and amazing way, as a digestive tube, these lovely beings take my scraps, process them through their bodies and reward with castings. What a wonderful symbiotic relationship!

My task was to take the rich castings from the worm box while leaving my little friends to eat another day. I simply dug in, with both hands, picking out the wigglers and lifting them back into their home. 

The worm castings nourish all vegetation. Today, April May June the Japanese Maple reaped the benefits of the worm's recycling skills. I love the cyclical nature of our world. 

The Way

Starting a new way, The Way face book page. The Way is epitomized by the Rumi quote, "If you start to walk out on the way, the way appears." The Way is unwayed in the wonderful words, only pointers, in the Tao Te Ching, "The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao" (Tao means the Way) This is the Way. In a practical, relative sense we are not only on the Way but we are the way. The way of the Way is waking up to it. The way is being okay with our inherent humanness, our complexities, our simplicities, our conditionings, all senses, all forms that guide us to the "knowing" that we are all of the formless.

At the Victoria Zen Centre, we chant, "Affirming Faith Mind" with the first two lines as "The great way is not difficult for those who do not pick and choose. When love and hate both disappear the way stands clear and undisguised."
Byron Katy writes, "I'm a lover of reality. When I argue with What Is, I lose,
but only 100% of the time." This is what not picking and choosing means, what is is.
Eckhart Tolle reminds us in "The Power Of Now", "Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now. Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now". Now is the Way.

In Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five" he continuously used the now famous words, "So it goes".  So it goes is also the Way.

The Mary Oliver poem, "Where Does The Temple Begin, Where Does It End? is the Way.

Where Does the Temple Begin,
Where Does It End?

There are things you can’t reach.  But
you can reach out to them, and all day long.

The wind, the bird flying away.  The idea of God.

And it can keep you as busy as anything else, and happier.

The snake slides away; the fish jumps, like a little lily,
out of the water and back in; the goldfinches sing
from the unreachable top of the tree.

I look; morning to night I am never done with looking.

Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around
as though with your arms open.

And thinking: maybe something will come, some
shining coil of wind,
or a few leaves from any old tree –
they are all in this too.

And now I will tell you the truth.
Everything in the world
comes.

At least, closer.

And, cordially.

Like the nibbling, tinsel-eyed fish; the unlooping snake.
Like goldfinches, little dolls of gold
fluttering around the corner of the sky

of God, the blue air.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(Why I Wake Early)

Please share your experiences, quotes and thoughts on the Way:
facebook.com/TheWayNow

Depression As A Self

Where does depression come from? Perhaps it is our body, mind and soul's response to an unspoken and unthinkable dis-ease in the way we perceive the world. Perhaps depression is just a deeper form of sadness or even of simply feeling flat, dulled by the expectations and demands of a world that measures self worth on having and doing. Perhaps depression is a gift that if we accept it and open it, it allows us to be exactly as we are, sad, confused, lost. Indeed it is all of this.

Just begin to understand that on a deep level depression is not who we are, it is something we are going through. Depression is not a self. Unfortunately, the world we live in does not necessarily support the down time and the need for self examination and acceptance that is needed to move through the feelings of emptiness.  So how do we navigate through this depression or sadness or indeed any of the gamut of feelings that may be in the field of depression?

I would say start right now. In this moment, be still. Find a comfortable relaxed position to be at ease. Close your eyes. Simply become aware of your body in space at this moment. Allow your awareness to lightly touch on the activity of breathing. Feel how air comes into the body and becomes breath. Is the air cool or warm? No need to judge or label, just observe. What does it feel like as air is breathed through the nose, as it moves down through the throat, into the upper chest, the abdomen the belly? Notice just before the exhale there is a pause, a turning of the breath and on its own accord and by it's own nature the exhales arises up and out of the body.  There is nothing to do just simply notice the breath. In this simple way, observing the breath and its qualities, we may begin to become aware that breath is breathing us. And as it breathes us, there really is no problem.  (If you wish to inquire further into the nature of the breath, I encourage you to explore Donna Farhi's "The Breathing Book".)

I think depression is the external "problems" of the world becoming internalized. Focussing on the breath, we focus on what is present, right here, right now. Not on what has happened or may happen, not on scary thoughts of future or regretful thoughts of past. Being present right now with this breath we can experientially sense that all is okay at this very moment. Being present with what is is a practice. It is not something to acquire or to make perfect. It is what it is. Eckhart Tolle says when we notice that we are not present, we are.
Being gentle, kind and loving to ourselves and using breath we can bring our awareness back to this moment as it is.

We are physical expressions of the formless. We are the space where all this, in and around us, appears. We are consciousness itself. We are life! Moving around in these bodies with these thoughts and feelings and with the ability to manifest other forms is a game of hide-and-seek. Consciousness looks for itself in the outer but ultimately awakens from the inner. And in the truest sense of awareness, there is no outer and no inner, no separation. The fox in Antoine de Saint Exupéry's "Little Prince" says, "Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Indeed this is it, right where you are, in this very moment, with this very body, these very sensations and feelings, thoughts and perception. All of this, including the feelings of sadness and depression.

Outside

Outside my french doors of my beautiful little garden suite, sits April May June. This is her in early summer. As sun and showers nourished her, she wore the abundance of life with the radiant glory of serrated red and green leaves. Now, as the weather chills and the growing time of summer has past, she is in the autumn of her life this year. Leaves are shrivelling and dying, browning and falling    as her outer radiance withdraws inward to keep roots healthy. It is in a sense a time out that is accepted as it is. It is only us humans who are incredulous of change even though it is the most obvious experience. 

April May June
in July 

Depression As A Journey

Depression. Just being depressed is depressing. We, as a society, attach a value to the attribute of being depressed. Depression is negative. Either we accept it as a terrible experience or we dismiss it as an excuse for laziness or some other undesired character defect. Perhaps, we're wrong. Perhaps depression is the body and mind's natural shutting down defence. In other words, when we don't rest, when we don't stop this perpetual motion of acquisition, be it for stuff or knowledge, our being may just respond enough is enough with depression.  And when in depression, we still don't listen to our inner wisdom and exhaust ourselves with ways to "get rid" of our current state, we may find ourselves on a wheel of physical pain and emotional depression. When I say we, please include ME in capital letters.

A question which may be asked is which comes first physical pain or emotional/mental/spiritual depression? I think the answer would likely be it really doesn't matter. What matters is that when it becomes apparent that life no longer brings us joy (much not all of the time), we need to become aware of it. Easier said then done, it may not be so obvious to the one depressed. Even when loving individuals &/or trained professionals try to communicate the outwardly obvious depression, the one affected is able to negate it. (For after all, much of our lives, we have been taught to negate our feelings particularly the ones that are deemed not nice.) With others a diagnosis of depression can equally be depressing because now we may jump on the wheel of allopathic medication and psychiatric care. In other words, we want someone else to fix what we see (or may not) is wrong with ourselves. Once again, feeling out of control, we may think the answer is to give control to someone or something else. (Maybe this is also a clue, the notion of controlling our lives may also contribute to depression.) Perhaps the only thing wrong is that we just don't notice or haven't been taught that our body naturally depresses or slows down because we need to care for ourselves. Perhaps we truly need to feel this to heal it.

For me, that care has been in the form of learning to be okay with depression. In the book "The Zen Path Through Depression", Philip Martin writes, "Depression is an illness not just of the body and mind, but also of the heart. Depression offers us an opportunity to deepen our spirit, our lives, and our hearts. There is much that we can learn about ourselves and our world through this journey. Through attentive, compassionate practice with the depression, it is possible to experience an even deeper healing, and grow in our spiritual lives."

When I first saw my incredible counsellor Myrna, we talked about the many "tragedies" of my growing years. I thought I had dealt with those ghosts, spent time with them, explored them, forgave them and understood them. This learning to live with the stuff of our experience is indeed a sticky business. Myrna used a model of a spiral. As relative times passes and we move through the spiral that is life we bump up with the old but from a new place of experience. At this time, if we typically stuff feelings or even not, some past experiences may need to be revisited (not necessarily resolved) to move on.
Perhaps this is where sadness comes in. If typically we turn away from our sadness and don't allow ourselves this time out from our work-a-day world than perhaps that is where it escalates or rather sinks into depression.   It is only a matter of degrees when sadness becomes depression. My dear friend calls sadness, "feeling flatter then pee on a plate".

More on this next blog....

A Turning Point

Wow!  The first member has joined The Pigasus Project.  Blumoon2, definitely an honorary member, deserves my big thanks.  Thank You!

Is it an ego thing to want to have members or followers?  To some degree.  Ultimately, I would really just like to offer a blog where folks with similar ideas and values can connect and share. I don't want it to be about me.  I have thoughts and ideas only because they have come from the greater community of thoughts and ideas which may have been siphoned, channelled, shared by another individual which ultimately all comes from the one source, the one field of consciousness. (As Eckhart Tolle says over and over again, even these words are just pointers and not it.)  Indeed, we only appear to be different individuals with different stories on a relative level, on an absolute level we are intimately connected.  The story I call mine and the story you call yours is a story of human conditioning, human needs and all levels of consciousness. And it is relative. Nothing on the relative level can easily be pinned down because all form, be it form of substance or thought changes. All ways, always. No thing remains the same. We are all verbs, action, change.
On the absolute level, we are indeed all-with-one. Many forms manifested from one source, awareness, energy, consciousness, presence, whatever words you want to use to reduce this ultimate mystery to a bite-size understanding.

This is beautifully worded by Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching, chapter one, (as translated by Derek Lin, www.Taoism.net and Tao Te Ching: Annotated & Explained, published by SkyLight Paths in 2006.) Tao simply means the way.


The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao
The name that can be named is not the eternal name
The nameless is the origin of Heaven and Earth
The named is the mother of myriad things
Thus, constantly without desire, one observes its essence
Constantly with desire, one observes its manifestations
These two emerge together but differ in name
The unity is said to be the mystery
Mystery of mysteries, the door to all wonders

We Are They

More thoughts on we are they. Finger pointing and name calling won't solve the problem. Our need for fluff and stuff that we believe will make us happier has fuelled corporate greed. Our insatiable hunger for commodities bigger, better and faster has turned us into consumer fodder that fuels the corporate monsters. We have become the commodities of capitalism. We have allowed media to monger fear and the entertainment industry violence because of our hunger for sensationalism. We have bought into the notions of a pill for every problem. And that external beauty, at all costs, is more important then inner beauty. We have given up our freedom by not questioning self proclaimed authorities. We do not ask often enough who benefits from me buying this product, believing this study or that news story. We need to wake up. From this consciousness, we begin to make choices from a place of compassion and love for all. For indeed, we are one-with-all.

Crane and Matten blog: Why Occupy Wall Street should occupy corporate leaders' minds

Crane and Matten blog: Why Occupy Wall Street should occupy corporate leaders' minds

This Is It

... my writing for today. Blah, blah, blah.

Just Had To Share

Tuesday at Misha's Yoga she read "The Journey" by Mary Oliver.  Hearing it opened up my heart and touched the very nature of my soul.  To me, in the moment, it was as if a lantern was held up and a path out of this depression was now visible. So, I wish to share Mary's poem with complete and utter gratitude, awe and respect.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save. 

~ Mary Oliver ~

(Dream Work)

Another Ramble

Okay, here I am.  I made a promise that I would write every day in my blog.  Later then usual, past eight, but a promise is a promise.  This is, for me, a practice of not being too hard on myself about the way I arrange words and ideas in sentences.  Thought forms are constantly changing and so too are the ideas and words, I wish to convey.  I need to trust that what comes through this mind and this body through this keyboard on to this field in this blog is okay.  However, I find both in the written and spoken word when I make a statement or opinion, my thoughts on it are likely to change as it is coming out of my mouth or through my fingertips.  Thus is the changeable nature of the world of form. No thing stays the same. Every thing that is of the nature to be born  is also of the nature to decay and die. In fact, birth is a death sentence. However, what we do between our first gasp and our last is a wonderful, ever unfolding, ever changing dance. Somehow being okay with change and on speaking terms about death simply sweeten this activity of living. It is an art to learn how to savour each bite of life without clinging, without aversion, without comparing what it tasted like in the past or thinking it will be better in the future.

How wonderful and mysterious!

Practicing With Not Good Enough

The devious belief "not good enough" is cloaked in disguise.  It is loaded with the expectation if I recognize that I am not good enough, I will be encouraged to do better.  This is a falsehood.  Much of the time "not good enough" inspires only more of the same and the attitude of "why bother trying at all". My writing becomes paralyzed when I cling to the "NGE" belief.  It comes in the form of an initial "great idea", a short period of intense creativity and then after a day or two dissolves into apathy of what was created.  Exactly what is this about?! A part of me says, "be grateful for this gift you have, it's not yours to hoard, it's not even yours".  Another part says, "NGE". So this self created ego loop is self fulfilling. Yet, by blogging I am trying to simply recognize the NGE and let it go. Today, I have written; tomorrow, I intend to do more of the same. I will try and be gentle with the NGE as I would in gently correcting a small child.

I Sense That ~ Hold My Hand

... we are coming to a tipping point.  I feel that this transformative process that is running through this body is the same as the one that is moving humans as a species.  I sense that it is a do or die time. As more souls beckoned on to awakening, all become a cumulative part of a global shift  in consciousness.  It seems that this shift is picking up in momentum because of the wonderful world wide web.  Communication and consciousness are part and parcel of this collective rubbing of our eyes, yawning and stretching and waking to this present moment.  With twitter, face book and other social media we can in the virtual sense of the world join hands around the universe. I wonder if it would be possible to send an e-mail around the world linking our hands in virtual solidarity.  Embracing our uniqueness as human beings yet at the same time our oneness with all form.

Hold my hand. Let us join hands in peace, compassion and love for all sentient beings on this planet.

This & That

Where to from here... no where only now here.  So, I am back sitting with The Pig Blog not knowing where to start with words. Trying to connect with that still place where the sweetness of the words is fresh and true.  Before I had this notion that depression was doing me but now with a laugh I can say I am doing depression. Not even always. Just enough to recognize it creeping back into my mind attempting to cloud present moment.  Accepting it for what it is, gently acknowledging it seems to be the best medicine for going beyond it. I remind myself this is not permanent. No thing is.  No thought form. No life form.  As all it's a transformation; a transformation that I have asked for. Simply being okay with this process is the how.  Even when the feelings are dark, deep and fearful, I still can sense the stream of consciousness. When I wake up to that sense, I can dip my toe into it. Ahhh, there is the flow, go with it. "Know" that suffering is the path to that stream.

YouCube Actualized

YouCube on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3LebTINYhk

Check it out. 

You Cubed

Ahh,

Who has been a positive influence on your life?

The You Cube is complete.  Final side. If you would like to see this and other You Cubes, I will post the location and dates when the art installation will be complete.

Blessings all.

You Cube Five Sided

What Inspires Or Nourishes You?!

In Memory Of Niblet

Rest In Peace

You Cube!

Who Or What Has Been A Negative Influence On Your Life?

Well, i have been inspired by the You Cube! experience.  Four sides transcended from white.
Blessings to all!

What Is Your Biggest Dream Or Aspiration For Yourself &/or Humanity?

Create A Self Portrait 1

Create A Self Portrait 2

What Stops You!

Fraser Fotos!

Trying To Be Serious

So Serious

Don't Forget About Fun, Son

Fraser Today!

Fraser,

When you were three years old, i wrote a poem about you being my teacher.  You were, and are still, in so many ways. Now at almost 18 (in August), you are graduating from high school.  Even though sometimes, in the teen years, it is easy to forget the spontaneity and naturalness of a child, true you still shines through. You are curious! You are loving! You are kind! You are compassionate! You are a true friend! You are a thoughtful son!
Since very young, you have always had this uncanny ability to somehow "know" that you are the creator of your reality. This positive attitude has manifested in so much positive coming to you. As you move through your life, you will continue to learn that "Only infinite patience achieves immediate results." As you play with this reality and learn that how you perceive the world defines the world you perceive you will begin to relax even more in this cosmic game. Although it seems like small "i" is the creator, some moment you will truly know that this divine dance of greater self shines through you and all of us. Formless becomes form to play with and let go.
Play as you explore your higher purpose. Enjoy your young body and mind. Live every moment as precious. Always remembering that the only moment is now.
Wherever you go, there you are.


Love you forever,
Mom

Teagan Today!

Teagan Jumps

Anytime is Tiggy time... what a joy, what a blessing.

Tiggy's World

Playing With The Camera

Sepia Smoke Buddha

Inside Out

What's In An Old Teapot - Freshly Brewed Tea

What is the charm of this old teapot?  This familiar style of teapot perhaps evokes memories of grandma's teapot. Or perhaps we see the bright, sunny yellow colour as uplifting. Maybe it's the emanation of heat, on a cold winter's day, when hands wrapped around it waited for the tea to steep. Or maybe you remember opening the lid to check on the tea, steam wafts out with the smell of freshly brewed tea, the bergamot of Earl Grey, the chamomile smell of Sleepy Time Tea...

What charms my senses is the beautiful lines in the teapot that only come with use. It is the lines that tell us of its age, well used, well loved. This is what beckoned to me in the thrift store. Often, i think about where a thrift store find came from. There are no chips in the spout or in the lid and it suggests mindfulness in its use. Perhaps, this tea drinker loved to have friends join her for a sip of tea. Maybe she served home baked cookies and dainty sandwiches. Maybe the contents of the teapot comforted her, uncomfortable in pregnancy or up late with a sick child. And why did the loved teapot end up in the thrift store? Perhaps the owner died and her grandchildren saw it only as Grandma's old teapot. It is that; it is also a receptacle that served and brought comfort.

The lines upon its beautiful shape are not unlike the wrinkles and lines on my face as i grow older. How i choose to grow my wrinkles, with laughter or frowns, is up to me. i want to wear my lines knowing that they grew from being well loved and loving well. 

i lift my cup and sip to loving what is and who we are, wrinkles and all. 

Breath by Breath

How To Make A Difference In The World Breath by Breath

Breathe and smile

Breathe and accept a compliment 

Breathe and accept a correction 

Breathe and say thank you

Breathe and really listen

Breathe and offer a hug

Breathe and look deeply into someone's eyes

Breathe and say I'm sorry

Breathe and cry

Breathe and laugh

Breathe and sigh

Breathe when you want to hold your breath

Breathe when the pain feels unbearable

Breathe when you meditate

Breathe when you do yoga

Breathe and count each breath

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe the cycle of life.

Breathe!  Fill up your nostrils, fill your lungs down to your belly, breathe into every part of your being and remember you have the gift of breath and you are alive.

Blah Blah

No blah, blah from me today.

Diane Savino - The Case For Same Sex Marriage - 

Finding The Inner Pig

Well, now that Pigasus has shown the way of transcendent nature, i am feeling gratitude for this pink pig project. A desire to engage more in the visual arts is bubbling to the surface. Seishin has kindly invited me to a fantastic creative project in the community called You Cube. She gave me a cube, one of 108, with six sides each to be embellished with something visual based on these six questions:

Beginning

*  what stops you?
*  what inspires or nourishes you?
*  who or what has been a negative influence on your life?
*  who or what has been a positive influence on your life?
*  create a self-portrait
*  what is your biggest dream or aspiration for yourself and/or humanity


This form of creating feels so new & exhilarating. i can honestly say i am bringing beginner's mind to this. And, in a sense, i am trying to still even that mind and go deeper to source for the "answers".

Seishin has been a conduit of this project to me but it's original source is from Cathy Key. Click on this link to You Cube Art

The Pig Is Dead! Long Live The Pig!

Pigasus hung in until the end!

This Is It!

Today, Pigasus, the Pink Pinata Pig's Big Day!  In only a few hours, he will fulfill his higher purpose ~ to give pleasure to children. What could be more honourable! 


Wouldn't it be something if we all not only knew but could live our "higher purpose" moment to moment? i think, just perhaps, it begins with being present in this moment exactly as it is.  And, then maybe, and i can only use words, if that present moment becomes love for exactly what is then naturally being one with this suchness allows us to behave in a way that comes from "true self". Since true self emanates from source and source is love and peace then our being emanates the same. 


Can pigs fly?  You bet.  Soar Pigasus soar!

In Her Vision

I have tied myself down far too long

When soul yearned to fly

Ensnared it with earthly desires

Tucked wings tight behind shoulders

In hopes no one would know of aspirations

Bowed head, turned gaze inward

Stared eye to i

In dream I wake to find thyself

Beyond the wholly me

To wander streets of loneliness        

To face that I will die

Each expelled breath

A mini death

Inhale, a birth, a moment new

In being born, life is always sentenced to death;

From that time of first breath to last goodbye,

And in between the how, not why.

To question what is the meaning of life?

The answer contained within.

Life is the meaning of life.

It is as it is. This moment. This breath.

This is it!

Truth lies not behind nor exists somewhere ahead.

The truth is what is.

Here now.

Now here.

No where to go.

No where to be.

Now where.

Take that exquisite leap of faith

Far beyond the "knowing" mind

Jump, eyes open closed, matters not

The fall is where flying finds

Its wings unfold in faithful fervour

Now eyes truly see

A New Day

Well, a new day dawns. Pigasus is perfectly pink. The necklace my beautiful daughter Ssarah made from her Jazzy Jewellery kit adorns his pink neck. Some flower stickers found on the way to Pic A Flic are stuck to his ears and one on his rear. He seems perfectly at peace with his purpose...
As i anthropomorphize his reality, it is really only a telling of where i am at. Now, in this time of healing, mind, body & connection with source, the Pigasus Project is an extension of that creativity which seems to be flowing into my life with abundance. When I open to this source with trust and non-resistance, all that is needed presents itself.
Yesterday, one of the movies I chose was Dr Wayne Dyer's "The Power of Intention".  I have been reading his work for many, many years. Perhaps last night I was truly ready to receive the gift.  Here are the 10 things that he lists at the end of the PBS Lecture.

~ Want more for others then you want for yourself
~ Think from the end
~ Be an appreciator
~ Stay in repoire with source
~ Understand resistance
~ Contemplate yourself as surrounded by the conditions you want to create
~ Understand the art of allowing
~ Practice radical humility
~ Be in a state of gratitude
~ Do not resolve a problem by condemning it
~ Play the match game (I am matched with the field of intention)
~ Meditate

Thanks to Dr Dyer.

Blessings & love.  We are truly 1WithAll.

Pigasus Can Fly!

Here Pigasus takes a test flight around the garden. He sniffs a Stargazer Lily set out for him to enjoy.  I believe he is up to the task of being the Pinata at the Buddha's Birthday Party this Sunday. Even though it means his demise in this present form, after the candies spill out he will have fulfilled his purpose in this incarnation.

Pigasus Soars

This morning rose in pink.  The pinking of Pigasus completed. He now hangs to dry and possibly contemplate his purpose ~ that of a Buddha Birthday Party Pinata. Or perhaps he "knows nothing" but only the moment; the feel of cool air drying the paint on his piggy body, the fresh smell of the damp garden, the sky light then darker as the sun slips behind clouds in the moment of being. The fast flutter of a hummingbird dipping into the feeder for the sweet nectar offering, then pausing, suspended by vibration, to see the pinkness of the dangling Pigasus. Perhaps, his pretend piggy ears hear the gentle tinkle tinkle of the metal wind chimes complimented by the tuk tuk of the wooden bamboo ones.
Or perhaps not.
All I sense is all that I imagine Pigasus perceives. As Pigasus arose from the gift of imagination, there is no separation between the imaginer and the imagined ... all the suchness of now.

... only task left is to give styrofoam wings painted feathers.

A Bit Of A Ramble

As it seems from the relative truth of time, all life leads up to this moment. Yet the absolute truth is there is only this moment, this now. When we did what we did in what we call the past as we were living it, it was the now and the future never comes because it will always be experienced in the now. (Thanks Eckhart!)

If I am present in the moment,  then through this presence, I can choose to understand my conditioning and to witness my reactivity to the content and the circumstances of this play we call life. When in my mind, I believe something should be other then it is, I suffer.  If I can be with the suffering, I have the opportunity to plant seeds of understanding. Even if I let myself be a victim to the suffering, still later there is the opportunity for the fruition of the experience. Suffering can be a fertile field for compassion, understanding, love, oneness, empathy, care... a change of heart.  There really are no sides to suffering. When I experience this from true self, I can see that when one suffers, all suffer.

Today's Discovery & Reminder

Tuned in to Ted Talks and was treated to a most tasty affirmation of our oneness. You may want to check out

Elizabeth Lesser - Take The “Other” To Lunch

http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_lesser_take_the_other_to_lunch.html

She quoted the first two lines of this Rumi reflection.  

I’ll Meet You There
by Rumi

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing
there is a field. I will meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn’t make any sense.

Pigasus Pinks Up

Pigasus is beginning to pink up.  Spent a little while "patching" up spots on the body, added the tail and a leash with bungee cord so we can hang up Pigasus when he's ready to becoming a dangling pinanta.  Just to see how the pink paint would look, I painted his head.

Well, today the body doesn't feel so great. Still struggling with the "three bulging disc" situation and its referred pain of left butt, hip, knee and ankle. Then to add to that throbbing liver and achy head. Practicing "loving what is" because this is it, knowing this too will pass.  

So it goes...

Today, working with Pigasus, as this odd little papier mache creature evolves from paper, flour & water, thoughts and concerns about the "little i" have been swirling around. i practice letting go of perfection. i was so concerned that the pig pinanta wouldn't be perfect. As it takes shape and is recognizable, i realized that the potential for this pig always existed. My task was to align my creative energies with that potential. With patience, presence, perseverance and trust, it's flying piggyness is coming to fruition. When "little i" feels proud of the project, "greater i am" gently nudges me and reminds me that "i" am only a conduit or vessel for source. (as we all are)

.... still these words are just a pigger pointing at the moon.

Pigasus Prepares To Take Flight

Today, the legs from newsprint and wings from styrofoam, with lots of tape and glue, have materialized. Pigasus' body & personality are being formed. Inside, full of candy sweetness.

This Too

The Tao Of Pigasus

The Pigasus Piñata has a big head and a small body.

The head is big because it is stuffed with ideas, beliefs, judgements, perceptions, conditionings... the body is small, it is full of sweetness.

the small i like this "fragile pot" empty, full, half empty, half full

all ways changing

Transformation

First ever piñata. Background. The Victoria Zen Centre's annual Buddha's Birthday Party features a piñata for the kids. Assigned the task of creating this year's papier-mâché offering, this project has become more then just newsprint, flour and water, tape and patience. It is offering a peak at some of the conditionings that have layered my life at this time of transformation.

Fortunately, I had picked up a papier-mâché book in a free box outside a house down the street. Then Seishin gave me her son George's small globe shaped papier-mâché originally intended as a paper lantern. This was to be the starting point. From the book, I found the directions for building a Pigasus. With some modifications, I was sure I could pull it off.

Reality Slap #1 Papier-mâché projects do not look perfect from the get-go. This ugly monster of "not good enough" showed up as I struggled with shaping a ball that would become the pig's head. This "not good enough" has layered my life with self-deprecation. This notion of perfect has stopped me from beginning and completing creative projects.

Something Interesting: (found on a google search). Europeans linked the piñata with Lenten celebrations. The first Sunday of Lent became "Piñata Sunday," derived from the Italian word pignatta, meaning "fragile pot." Hmmm, pig, pignatta, piñata... and I, the fragile pot building it.